I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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