Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
