Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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