all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
