Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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