Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?