Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

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  (559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster. http://tfl.nu/p7ub
  Replies (109) Good night (13278) Bad night (1152)
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  (831): View more from California

  i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3

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  (831): i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3 http://tfl.nu/5ewa
  Replies (22) Good night (5624) Bad night (780)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.

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  (401): Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick. http://tfl.nu/vuwe
  Replies (17) Good night (1370) Bad night (4284)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (5250) Bad night (1821)
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  (916): View more from California

  I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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  (916): I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one... http://tfl.nu/z7kq
  Replies (13) Good night (5938) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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  (219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3
  Replies (10) Good night (2615) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.

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  (586): We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate. http://tfl.nu/plc2
  Replies (2) Good night (1865) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (500)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.

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  (678): I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated. http://tfl.nu/ulsy
  Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (730)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"

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  (814): In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?" http://tfl.nu/nk2c
  Replies (2) Good night (1118) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.

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  (623): One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID. http://tfl.nu/bopy
  Replies (2) Good night (1243) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?

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  (850): Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'? http://tfl.nu/7fyz
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.

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  (904): Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard. http://tfl.nu/afya
  Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass

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  (508): I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass http://tfl.nu/mz48
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now

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  (407): I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now http://tfl.nu/9el0
  Replies (4) Good night (246) Bad night (557)

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