Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍