1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
