For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
