I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
