Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
