i don't like sucking hair
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
