Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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