Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
