i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
