Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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