I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
