Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
