I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
