Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
