Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You can't motorboat a personality
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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