Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
