Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
