It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
