on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
