Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
