I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
