did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
