Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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