My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
