the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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