I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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