He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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