I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think my vagina is haunted
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize