he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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