i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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