If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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