It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
