I wish I could teleport
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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