Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
