plz talk dirty to me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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