I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
