even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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