I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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