when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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