Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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