Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize