Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
