gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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