Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
