# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
