the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Your cock deserves a montage
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
