but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i think i just lost a toe
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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