You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
