I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
