Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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