So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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