I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
