At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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