I wanna passion pit in your ass
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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